Can charcoal create- woah- work I didn’t know I was capable of?! just kidding! But seriously- is it worth it?

Soo…. It’s been a while! I have had a lot of time to work on stuff. Recently I’ve been making a ton of charcoal pieces. It’s a really fun medium, I’ve always been fond of it, but I never really liked going in without a solid reference. I really only liked doing realistic wildlife portraits! And that’s cool and all, but it can get a bit dull sometimes.. I decided messing around with said medium a little more last week and I realized that there is a lot more I could get out of it than I thought. 〈(•ˇ‿ˇ•)-→

     This piece, Mustelid Misery 0.1, or whatever, was something I was pretty proud of. I don’t really like doing horror art as much as I used to. Although, I'm not really sure what I do like doing so no wonder. I liked the depth. I wish there was a little more; the skull wasn’t supposed to be the main focus, It was just going to be a part of the background of whatever my original idea was. But somehow we got here. I like where the mouth is, there’s something about the lack of a really sharp focus there that’s appealing to me. I just like the piece in general.

     I spend a ton of time working on art. Most of it just feels like practice. I wanted to get back into selling my art. I don’t like it when an artist doesn’t have variety in their work. I don’t like it when I don’t have variety in my work. I want my work to mean something, I want it to catch your eye- without blood, guts, and gore,(why I usually don’t like “horror” art.) Without shocking words, without politics. I want it to last. And it’s nice knowing I can create works like this. I can’t wait to experiment with charcoal more often! (☆▽☆)

     What have I been up to other than creating charcoal illustrations? A lot! I’m working on a base for a stuffed animal sewing pattern, I have some animations up, some characters, comic plans.. a lot. I also own 3 spiders now! And I once again picked up the violin.. I will never quit ever again! It’s nice picking up my old hobbies again. Violin was a fun instrument. I also fixed my accordion! I ordered new straps for it because the old ones snapped and they’ll be coming in a few days.. I am simply unstoppable!⋋⁞ ◔ ﹏ ◔ ⁞⋌

     I hope to make a little more art to put in my portfolio.a lot of the work I do I end up trashing. It used to be really jarring to me, I thought a lot of my art was just bad, but I realize now that it’s not bad to have high standards. If a piece doesn’t meet my expectations I need to change it up or get rid of it immediately.「(°ヘ°) It’s one of the reasons that I rarely do post my art, I rarely have any to post. At the same time, I do know I have a huge disadvantage as I am not targeting my artwork to anyone but myself. I see why people do it, why they make fanart and follow trends to get views, but I can’t. I tried for years, but I just can’t see the worth anymore. I’d enjoy a larger audience for sure, but I want an audience who actually likes my work. I don’t want people who don’t care about my art as is.. Whatever. I’m just rambling. Anyway buhbye! Talk to you again! (´﹃｀)

Working on characters and rambling about the morality of the mounting of mice (the profit gained is the honour you’ve lost)

      I’ve been planning to put more work into some of my older characters. All of the characters I create have really specific plans for what I’m to do with them, I’m not a fan of collecting characters for no reason. It’s nice to have a few things to work on, I’m constantly switching around what and who I’m working with. If I get bored of working with comics for one character, I can just switch to working on children’s books for another.. or animations.. or puppets and paintings .. you get it..( ⚆ _ ⚆ )

      You don’t really even need to have a detailed story to have a good character. I have one who I’ll just hide in the background of some of my paintings. Why do I do it? Who knows… I tend to leave a lot of my stories open to interpretation, and this is no different. I like leaving it up to the imagination of others.. why is this weird creature just looming behind this house and in the forest? Why is Flopsy living in an abandoned house? What happens to… who? I guess we’ll just have to wait and see..(＾▽＾)

      I even have one character, 101820𝟼𝟼𝟶𝟹𝟿𝟻𝟻.𝟻𝚄𝚙, or Zee, who is basically just.. a concept. I really only use the character to create gifs and get my art out there. It’s one of my more recognizable characters, yet there really isn’t any overarching story to it. It’s an alien lab animal who was sent to earth to study humans abuse towards animals. It seems quite inhumane really, but it’s long dead, it doesn’t know what’s going on and it never has. When it was sent to earth it died upon entrance into the atmosphere, It’s why the collars there, it basically revives the corpse.. and when the jobs done it self destructs and doesn’t leave a trace! It’s immoral. It’s disgusting.. but there’s nothing else to it. Cute character though.♥︎ Makes you think.

      Even my SONAS have their own little stories, granted, they’re based on me, so of course there will be some stuff there.. but there’s added details y’know.. imagination.. like what- My mouse-self who happens to be a vibrant taxidermy mount who hates herself? Obviously based on how so many taxidermists tend to disrespect mice when mounting them. I understand that they’re hard to mount well, but do you seriously need to put a tutu on it, raise its middle finger, put a cigarette in its mouth and place it on a motorcycle? You’re disgusting! I don’t think we should feel that we have the right to play with and mock corpses, human or not. It’s weird. And honestly, as a taxidermist myself; you should stop! that’s childish, immature, and creepy. So is wearing dead animals tails as if they’re your own. Anyway. Unfortunate hot take much? (个_个)★★★★★

      I guess the moral of this post is respect animals.. and also.. I have fun coming up with silly little stories.. that always revolve around.. respecting animals!(☆▽☆)

Would I rather; suffer eternally OR live blissfully with no memory of my horribly creative past, as a result of a brain injury acquired from running face first into a wall as a child that broke my head open and required me to get 7 stitches?

       What would I do if I couldn’t do art anymore? Well… I’d probably be a psychologist. I mean if I had complete control over what I’m studying, which I DONT! (I’m going to school to work with medicine ohhh what a nerd) I would totally go for psychology. Psychology is my favourite topic to look into in the entire world! I have a lot of fun adding concepts and theories into my art. It’s one of my main focuses in art! ⋆ටᆼට⋆

       I also mighht have a huge fear of working with other artists. It was always incredibly fun when I did it, I was very lucky to be around such bearable people, but it never really ended well. Incredibly stupid things would always happen and cause everything to come crashing down. Every. Single. Time, (But hey! At least it gave me more inspiration to add to my characters!) And, repeating myself once again, art was never really my thing to begin with. Am I in denial? Maybe. Do I have an ADDICTION to art? Sounds crazy..but you know what? probably. I CANT CONTROL MYSELF! You’d have to lock me up in a straitjacket, and even then, I’ll still have my mind! (个_个) .-.. --- .-.. / .--- -.- .-.-.- / -- .. .- -.-.--

      However, as much as I don’t really like connecting with other artists for the sake of art because of the unbeatable passion they have that I lack, I will say it’s a lot harder to find inspiration without other artists to work with. It’s possible yeah, but I do enjoy having discussions about my creative endeavours sometimes.. it’s helpful to talk with people.. especially with those who also create art like mine.. I’m not talking with someone who makes…art that… I don’t.. like.. I hope I don’t need to specify further. there’s also  a lot of people who just don’t get it. I don’t know why I’m rambling about this.. but yeah! Psychology! Psychology is soooo cool! And if you’re interested in it, you’ll probably enjoy my art! My art that I need to get to posting..  yikes.. I am SO behind! 

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The beginning of the end; of the beginning of the

      Although animation is what I’m usually working with, another thing that I used to do quite often was build puppets! Usually either built with paper mache or foam, they would often be quite large. I stopped doing that years ago, still making a few sculptures with paper and cardboard for fun, but I ended up moving on from the hobby and replacing it with newer interests.. those interests being stone carving, wood carving, and making pottery. I try getting away from creating art but it always ends up driving me deeper into it, so I’ve just given up and now I do whatever I feel like doing… (*´▽`*)

      So! I plan to start working on puppets again, at least temporarily, because I just wish to practice my sewing and get more experience using the machine. My friends think it’s stupid, I mean, I have all this skill and experience with all these types of art, yet now I am choosing to go back to creating puppets. Where is the audience for that? Am I going to gain anything from creating them? Probably not- but the amount of materials put into building them is pretty fun to work with. It’s also one of the only types of art that’s actually able to temporarily distract me from my ever-running thoughts, as other types, like animation, allow me to have more time to think about things that I shouldn’t be thinking about at all.. things that have nothing to do with my art! Moral of the story, my mind is constantly in complete disarray so I try my best to keep it together, n since quitting art didn’t work- the next best option is to create more art, Right? Right?? (◎_◎;)

      Aaaaannyway! I’m pretty excited to start working on these puppets I’ve planned on making! I have a feeling they’ll be preeeetty cool.. I do need to manage my time though.. for someone who never wanted to be an artist I sure have a lot of work I gotta get done for others.. and I also have personal art projects I need to work on.. you know what! I’m feeling trapped! After all of this is finished I QUIT! I’ll need to buy a new kiln.. perhaps some more tools.. a new easel.. yeahhh… real good plan!

𝙿𝚕𝚞𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚎𝚜, 𝚙𝚕𝚞𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚎𝚜, 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚙𝚞𝚙𝚙𝚎𝚝𝚜..

 I used to make costumes and plushies quite often when I was a kid, it was always such a fun craft to do.. aside from the cleaning. My family used to make plushies years ago in Yugoslavia so I’ve always been very interested to continue that. Unfortunately for me, if my brain decides that a material isn’t of enough quality for me to use, I won’t use it, even if logically it’s the best option I have and everyone else uses it. Poly-fill for example. I would never use it for my small art dolls, opting for things like cotton or wool roving instead. It’s bad for the environment- and polyester is just GUH-ROSS! ☆☆☆

If you were a stuffed animal would you want to be full of plastic? I don’t think so. I don’t think ANYONE wants to be full of plastic. (个_个)

Howeverrr.., I considered using it for a puppet I’m making now, I mean I’m using fake fur,(be it the most expensive I could’ve gotten.. if it doesn’t have quality i can’t use it!) so poly-fill should be a good option.. it’s soft.. not TOO expensive.. and I can get a lot of it pretty quick from the local crafts store.. I considered it shortly before deciding I’d rather not have my art pollute the environment more than it needs to..(◎_◎;) and I’ve decided that I’m just going to completely ban it altogether from my art projects. I’d much rather use HAY. Crunchy sharp crumbly hay.. yeahhhh… very appealing!↯

I have so many plans for so many different types of art.. plushies, paintings, pottery… STONE CARVINGS? Right now I’m planning to make two or three Virginia opossum puppets.. why? Who knows. I found a few old illustrations I made when I was around 14 of some puppet designs and the opossum caught my eye so I decided to revamp it. I moved the.. arm hole.. to where the pouch would be. Wooden eyes, ears lined with wool felt.. I think I’ll add a zipper to the pouch and maybe make some babies to go in. That way when it’s not being used as a puppet it can just be a cute little stuffed animal.. decorative.. so that’s a pretty cool design huh? Yeah, I think so.. I hate my art so much but I can’t deny some of the things I make are pretty badass! (≡^∇^≡)✮★✮★✮★✮★